monday, day 5?

so I went to a class today at 7 o'clock pm. I draped and watched movies all day. Movies help me not think, and therefore not stress, but they also slow down how much work I get done. I am ashamed to say that I bought the movie step up from itunes this evening. what can I say. Tatum Channing is sex personified and I want him to do bad things to me. I have not had a celebrity crush like this since I was like, twelve. But yoga and meditation.... I meditated today. I have a really hard time meditating. I don't know if I'm trying hard enough to quiet my mind. Or maybe it's just normal. I know it is very hard and I've read about what the buddhists call monkey mind. I think that is an appropriately descriptive title. but when do I get to the point where my head goes quiet? I'm going through this book called 8 minute meditation. you are supposed to meditate everyday for 8 minutes for 8 weeks and each week he presents a new method. I like the information in terms of learning about different techniques. but I don't think that 8 minutes is long enough to get anywhere. it's good structure to begin the habit of meditation, but I think I need more time to try. and I think twice a day is probably a good idea too. morning and night. my yoga class was good. there's this teacher that keeps making us do assisted handstands without the wall and everytime I do it I feel like I'm going to fall over backwards and take out the person who's assisting me. It freaks me out a bit. I want to practice on the wall. teachers here aren't all that into shoulder stands... the studio I went to in toronto finished nearly every class with them... I like shoulder stands. I should do them on my own I guess. Anyways. I'm getting my work done a little at a time, which is better than nada, but I think I need to pick up the pace a bit tomorrow.
p.s. I played open mic last night and then went to aligator lounge where my friend justin is hosting an open stage. he made me sing even though it freaked me out 'cause he put me on the spot and I didn't know what to sing. but I worked up the balls eventually and sang lets stay together. I didn't know when to come in, but once I did, it was okay. Those guys are such amazing musicians. wow. I wish music was second nature to me the way it is to them. I want to go every sunday. it's kind of startling sometimes what a calming effect music has on my mood sometimes. it's like prozac. I need to get new guitar strings tomorrow. shit and I need to get my guitar fixed.
bon soir
xo